It just feels like such a sham when you tell me how important I am in your life and then you have to lie to your parents everytime we go out or you completely exclude me from other parts of your life. And it hurts to ask what went wrong and just hear it’s your fault for breaking my heart over and over, when I couldn’t talk to you or we both weren’t communicating or we didn’t pay each other attention.
And I feel so small because you can yell at me and whatever you want and I’m just here waiting for you to decide it’s really over. And you want me to think up cute dates or take you out, and it’s up to me to plan or take initiative or drive. That’s what I meant by not getting things back. But apparently we both feel that way, or at least opposite ways.
Where’s the girl I loved so much and loved me back, because I don’t see her. We’re just bitter and angry and it fucking sucks because there’s no way to fix it, or at least it’d take too much effort for us to put in without thinking the other person owes us.
And so what’s the point? Of course I fucking like spending time with you, but I still can’t get it out of my head. Shouldn’t we be doing more than fucking and eating? I want more picnic dates, more time alone, more deep talks. But it feels so empty if we’re not going to spend the future together.
yeah
